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Which comes first- Direction or Timing?

PossibilitiesAfter the graduation ceremony, Jerry walked up to his grandson and asked, “What kind of job will you be looking for, Arthur?”

Arthur was known among other family members as someone who loved to laugh. He was always looking for a new one-liner to share with everyone. So, Arthur grinned and replied, “Any job will do as long as I get a paycheck.”

“Seriously, Arthur, what type of work would you like to do?” asked Jerry.

“It doesn’t matter,” Arthur replied. As long as it’s not too hard, I’ll be willing to give anything a try.”

“Why don’t you apply for a job at your favorite pizza restaurant?” asked Jerry.

“I plan to do that tomorrow,” said Arthur. “It would be a great first job. I may see if I can just work part time. That way I can also work part time at Banana Republic at the local mall. I saw an ad online yesterday, and the store is hiring several part-time workers.”

Before he went to sleep that night, Arthur took his job aspirations to the Lord in prayer. “Father, I thank you that you love me and that you are directing my steps,” he prayed.

“I do want to direct your steps,” the Lord replied. “So, it’s important that you ask for my help before you make any plans related to a job. I want you to work at both Giovanni’s and at the Banana Republic, but I want you to work full time at the mall store and part time at the restaurant.” Continue reading »

Who do you Think You Are?

thoughtsIn early February, prompted by a number of emails, we posted a discussion that focused on Tell Me Something, Just Where Are You At?  After some recent and really interesting conversations with friends and colleagues, a peripheral, but even more essential question popped up… Who do you Think You Are?

This is not an easy question for most of us to answer. Often it is not even a mindful or deliberate question.  But it is a question that we’re all unconsciously asking, and it’s one that we will wrestle with all the days of our lives.  We know the signs: we aren’t quite content, we are fighting to be the top dog, we need to do more, our self talk secretly condemns us for coming up short, we don’t feel worthy, we look down on the new guy or those less fortunate and we are always in comparative mode.

We do this because most of us struggle with seeing ourselves accurately. Many of us don’t know who we are and if we did search and discover, we might admit that we don’t like who we are either. There are some of us who see ourselves as better than others, and there are some of us who struggle with feeling inadequate, constantly seeking the approval of others.  We live in a performance based world.

I am convinced that the extent to which we’re able to accurately (or my favorite word –precisely) see ourselves affects not only our relationships, but also the satisfaction and contentment in our lives.

In order to discover God’s unique purpose for each of our lives, we must learn how to see ourselves for who we really are — not who we want to be or who we think we are.

This question is not a novel one. In fact, the Apostle Paul addresses this actual issue in his letter to the Romans. He instructed them to first get an accurate self-assessment. He wrote, “Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment.” (Romans 12:3)

If you study it carefully, that word sober and the word think is all the same root word. It appears several times in one verse.  What he is saying is don’t think too high, don’t think too low. But, just as we have a DNA physically that is unique and God-given, he wants us to look in the mirror of our soul, of our body, and say I was designed for a purpose. I am made uniquely. I need to know what my strengths are. I need to know what my weaknesses are. I need to know my primary spiritual gift because then that will align with my purpose and my passion and where I fit in the body of Christ.  I need to get comfortable with the fact that I can do some things really well and others can do some different things really well.

It requires taking an honest look at how our relationships, family backgrounds, environment, significant others, personalities, and values shape the ways we think about ourselves.  I think we have pictures in our mind of what is acceptable.  We have media models, or church leadership, or maybe there is someone who really impacted your life. You want to be like them. So, you kind of imitate their gift. You must really get a hold of the fact that anytime I compare myself with another person, it will always produce carnality.  Either I’m envious, or I feel superior. “I’ve compared, and I’m a little better than them” – can lead to pride and arrogance.  “I’ve compared, and I don’t measure up”  – now I am jealous or resentful and maybe even covetous. Well, that is just not a good place to be.

Remember Moses? He had quite the journey trying to figure out who he was. We read in Exodus 2-4 that over the course of Moses’ life he had to come to terms with his distorted view of himself – first it was too high and then it was too low.  Initially, as the Prince of Egypt, when he asked a Hebrew that was in the wrong, “Why are you hitting your fellow Hebrew?” The man said, “Who made you ruler and judge over us” or- Who do you think you are? (Too high a view.)

When God called him to lead God’s people out of slavery in Egypt, he put up quite a protest and begged God not to send him.  Moses responded Who am I?” or – who do you think I am? (Too low a view.)

But God knew Moses was the perfect person for the job. He used Moses’ desires to help the Israelites, as well as his background, education and all of his experiences growing up in Pharaoh’s house as the needed preparation to fulfill His unique divine design for Moses’ life.

I love that—a sober self—an honest, accurate self assessment frees you up to quit pretending and thinking, “Well, if I had that, if I drove that, if people thought that, or if I could only get in this zip code.” A lot of our drives for significance and security are rooted in the fact that we simply don’t have a sober self assessment.

The media of the world is telling me that my success and significance is going to come because of what I have and how I look. When I can say no to that, and then when I get this accurate view of myself, what you are starting to see is this picture of freedom. You’re starting to see you’re going to know the truth, and the truth will set you free.

“Wow, you mean I don’t have to be everything.” I don’t have to cover and act like I’ve got it together.  My weaknesses really are the doorways I can open to invite people into my life.  Using my strengths, instead of acting humble, I can say, “You know I’m good at that. I’ll take care of that.”

So how can we begin to come to grips with our true self? Here are a few ways to get started:

  • Ask God to help you recognize the warped and distorted mirrors of the world that have helped shape an inaccurate view of yourself.
  • Push the PAUSE button on the life tapes you have been listening to; hit REWIND and ERASE.  Now begin to renew you mind.  Romans 12:2 – “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”
  • Get God’s view of yourself through reading His word. Focus on the passages that specifically talk about how God sees you as his beloved son/daughter.
  • Ask one or two trusted friends to help you see yourself the way they see you.
  • Note your strengths and weaknesses and discover your primary spiritual gift.
  • Celebrate daily and enjoy the fact that you are unique; you are loved, accepted and being prepared to fulfill your divine assignment.

This does not happen instantly, it is a journey (just like Moses) and you should embrace the journey. Remember, no one can give you a more accurate view of your life than God. You’re His tapestry — a work of art! God created you individually and uniquely. There is absolutely no one else in the universe with DNA like yours. And He wants to use everything in your past and all of who you are in the present to accomplish His divine assignment for your life!  “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” (Eph 2:10)


Jerry Duling is a Marketing and Business Consultant, Professional Speaker, and Social Media advisor. Jerry shows businesses how to use Social Media to build their brand, generate leads and close sales. Jerry also provides individual resources for the Internet Entrepreneur. Connect with



Does Humility work?

Humble is the opposite of proud. Pride is the attitude of a self-sufficient person. Humility is the attitude of a person who knows they need help. A self-made man is in control and makes his own way; a humble person will pray a lot and follow God’s instructions, instead of leaning on their own understanding.

What you do and who you are…well, that can get confusing.  You might think that I am going to suggest that a sales, business, or marketing leader is in a constant battle with self-sufficiency, an “I made it happen” attitude, and pride.  Well, if you don’t understand your calling and position that can certainly be true.  But that is not my out-and-out concern.

The fact is that in business and life the opportunity to help others and to be trusted by others is a gift they bestow upon you and you can only give worth to their trust if you bring a humble sense of accountability for it.  Humility is at the heart of lasting sales and business success. Genuine humility is not faked or insincere, and displaying humility is a not weakness, rather it is a strength in character that creates success. …Who would you rather buy from – a salesperson who is modest and real, or one who is arrogant and overconfident?   Who would you rather follow? It does take maturity and the understanding to get that…and just to be clear before we move on, let me add that:

  • Great sales professionals who have genuine humility attract clients and create relationships where deals get closed. End of story.
  • Great business professionals who have humility attract peers and co-workers who want to work with them, making the creation of a productive virtual team easier.
  • Great leaders who have true humility are typically more confident and in turn inspire confidence in others! They know enough not to spend more time believing their “press”.
  • Great leaders know that in the act of being humble, you make others feel important and valued.
  • People follow great leaders who are humble.

A sense of humility is crucial to leadership because it authenticates a person’s humanity. We humans are fragile creatures; we have our faults. Recognizing what we do well, as well as what we do not do so well, is vital to self-awareness and paramount to humility.

For now, I am assuming that you have that down.

I think the more complicated and subtle part is that our well intentioned pursuit of Christian humility can sometimes lead to a bit of arrogance and pride.  Let me explain.

Most Christians correctly understand that God desires a humble spirit.  We are taught and know that He came to save imperfect sinners, not perfect saints, and that he desires we come to him completely broken and repentant. Ultimately, as the apostle Paul points out, the power of his Grace is beautifully illuminated by our weakness. 

The knowledge that God wants all Christians to be of a humble character can, regrettably, have some unintended consequences for us mere mortals.  It can easily become the basis for us to start looking around to see if other Christians are indeed “toeing the line.”  We live in a world of comparisons.  We may wonder (only to ourselves of course) if others are being as humble as we are.  Specifically, we start engaging in the ever-popular and ever-so-human comparison game.  Oh yes, it is alive and well at the local Church too.

I’ll confess that I have, on occasion, stretched my neck to check my humility grade on the humility scale when compared to other Christians…particularly the leaders.  Subsequently, I’ve unknowingly (or knowingly) propped myself up over those that appear to be less humble (or worthy).

This is about the time when that little voice in my head says, “I obviously deserve God’s favor and blessing way more than that other guy who doesn’t act nearly as humble as I do.“  How’s that working out….Hmmmm…did I just say that?

Most certainly, when it comes to Christian Humility, the only comparison I should be making is how I, and I alone, compare to what God demands and desires.  He demands perfection.  He desires a broken spirit and a contrite heart.  It’s obvious that God knows what he is doing, because the acknowledgement of the former usually leads to the latter.

My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise. Psalm 51:17

When I confess that I am unworthy and can do nothing to earn God’s favor, (or for that matter accomplish anything without Him) and that it is only by his Grace that I’ve been saved, it always seems to knock me off of my prideful perch and send me to my knees in true repentance and humility.

True Christian humility comes when I look inward and upward; it’s between me and God.  It should never cause me to look around and outward to see if others are doing the same. When I compare, I must necessarily place myself above or below…I am either prideful or I covet.   It reveals itself when I quietly and honestly consider who I am in comparison to who He is.  It is then ultimately expressed when I privately come before The Almighty God of all creation…completely and utterly broken…and thankful. Then humility works.


Jerry Duling is a Marketing and Business Consultant, Professional Speaker, and Social Media advisor. Jerry shows businesses how to use Social Media to build their brand, generate leads and close sales. Jerry also provides individual resources for the Internet Entrepreneur. Connect with



Halt the Fault Assault

The fault-assaltJohn had a partner in business who took advantage of their relationship and embezzled money from his firm and other investors. He was caught and convicted. However, John and the investors determined to drop the charges if he agreed to repay the money. This allowed both men to gain freedom from a wrong committed.

In business and life the opportunity to harbor bitterness for a wrong suffered is vast. I have and I am sure you have been are given plenty of opportunities to grow bitter from relationships that bring hurt and pain.  It can be a business clash or a personal relationship that goes sour.  The enemy of our souls has a very specific strategy to destroy relationships. Whether these relationships are in business, marriage, or friendships, the strategy is the same. A disagreement arises, conclusions are drawn, judgment is passed, and feelings are hurt. What happens next is the defining point of whether the enemy gains a foothold, or the grace of God covers the wrong.

The author of the Hebrews passage “See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” (Hebrews 12:15) cautions us not to miss the grace of God. He admonishes us not to take up bitterness as a response to life’s pain. He warns us against this because he knows that a bitter root grows and matures until it ultimately defiles many others. It not only affects that person, but it also affects all others who are involved. It is like a spreading cancer. If bitterness is allowed to take root, we become bound by it and imprisoned to it. God’s grace will no longer have as notable an effect in our lives. We become unproductive, unfeeling, and spiritually dead. We can even become physically ill from it. God does not live in bitterness. He lives in grace. He has provided grace for every person to walk in.

There was a time when I was challenged to deal with an individual who hurt me horribly. I was faced with a decision. Would I choose bitterness or would I choose grace? Oh, how my natural tendency wanted to choose bitterness and revenge. I recalled a time when I was the recipient of grace I did not deserve from another.  I recalled the grace God had afforded me.  And over time, God provided the courage to choose grace. With that grace came freedom – a freedom to love and even accept the person who was the source of such pain.

This is the real place where Christ’s power is most revealed. Forgiveness and grace cannot happen when either party “feels” like it, for none of us will ever feel like forgiving. It is simply a choice we make.  It is only our obedience that allows God’s grace to cover the wrongs suffered. This grace prevents those involved from becoming victims. We cannot live without His supernatural grace. If we want to be used in a great way by God, we must be willing to forgive those who may be a great source a pain in our lives.

Choose grace instead of bitterness. Then you will be free to move past the hurt, and a root of bitterness will not be given opportunity to grow. Is there someone who needs your forgiveness today? Are you in need of grace today? It is there for the receiving. It will take courage to accept it and walk in it. This will be your step to freedom.


Jerry Duling is a Marketing and Business Consultant, Professional Speaker, and Social Media advisor. Jerry shows businesses how to use Social Media to build their brand, generate leads and close sales. Jerry also provides individual resources for the Internet Entrepreneur. Connect with



Did you make the Varsity in Adversity?

As a business person you are often challenged to turn adversity into success.  Adversity is an unfortunate inevitability of business and therefore our lives. Adversity in business may come in many shapes and sizes: a complex staff relationship, misunderstandings or misperceptions among a group, a customer issue, or inconsistent objectives of different departments. What we have learned is that the secret to dealing with adversity is to confront it directly and deal with the issues promptly.  However, most people would prefer to avoid confrontation if possible, hoping that the problems will eventually resolve themselves. Unfortunately they rarely do. In truth they tend to get worse over time.

Intellectually, there are some generally accepted thoughts surrounding overcoming adversity in business:

  • Acknowledgement – acknowledge the problem exists
  • Communicate – inform your direct manager of the issue immediately
  • Directness – address the actual problem
  • Speed – address the problem as quickly as possible

Seems pretty straightforward……

When it comes to adversity in our lives, (although more significant, complex and certainly personal) again there are those basic intellectual axioms:

  • Take responsibility.  Assume an “I can do something” attitude rather than pointing fingers. If nothing else, you can control your own response to the situation.
  • Deny denial.  Accept your situation, but don’t give up.
  • Limit the focus.  Don’t let the problem become all encompassing. When you compartmentalize the difficulty, you can focus on a workable solution.
  • Be optimistic.  Make a list of 10 good things in your life that you are grateful for. It’s true: Counting your blessings really does make you feel happier!
  • Laugh Maintain a sense of humor — it’s a great stress reliever.
  • Think creatively.  Make a list of 10 things in your life which you have control over. Helplessness is draining. Identifying areas where you do have influence can be tremendously empowering.  Trust your creativity.
  • Have courage. Having courage doesn’t mean you’re not afraid. It means that you don’t let the fear get in the way of doing what you need to do.
  • Take action.  Handling the day-to-day details can keep you from getting bogged down in the mud of adversity. Determine what can be done, and do it.
  • Maintain perspective and Take the long-range view.  Remember that “this too shall pass.” Recount other times when you have overcome challenges. Identify a challenge in your past that you dealt with successfully, and ask yourself: Can I apply anything from that experience to my current situation?
  • Take care of yourself. Exercise, play golf, take walks, and eat better.
  • Work toward a goal. Do something every day that gives you a sense of accomplishment. These can be career or personal objectives. What’s essential is to have something to work toward, plan for, and dream about. Goals give you a reason to get up in the morning. Most important, goals remind you that your current situation is not going to last forever.
  • Get connected with the people and community around you. 

Again, it all sounds reasonable.  Applying these “intellectual” principles is always a good start.

But, have you ever gone through a difficult period in your life when all hope seemed lost and you just wanted to quit and give up? Maybe it was when you went through a job loss, a divorce, or lost a family member. Or perhaps you’re going through something like this right now and you’re frantically wondering, “Where is God in all of this?”  Suddenly, the application of straightforward and reasonable just doesn’t seem to “cut the mustard”.  We must shift from our “intellectual” application and control to a “spiritual” perspective.

When life gives us trials and ordeals that seem too difficult bear, it’s easy to want to give up and to maybe even believe the reason we’re suffering is because God is punishing us or that He doesn’t really love us. But God wants us to know the truth about adversity and how we’re supposed to deal with it.

Here’s what God says about adversity and what we might expect:

  • It is normal – In fact, we shouldn’t be surprised when we’re faced with adversity. Jesus said clearly: “In the world you will have tribulation.” (John 16:33)
  • It is purposeful – God from time to time allows adversity in our lives so that we will grow. In Romans The Apostle Paul writes: “And we know that suffering produces  perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” (Rom. 5:5) When we’re going through a hard time, it can be helpful to ask God what He wants to grow or develop in us through our pain. Reflect on these:
    • Our Testing –God sometimes takes us through the Judas Test, the Integrity Test, the Perseverance Test and the Success Test in order to determine whether or not we are ready for a leadership role in His kingdom. “These [trials] have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine” (1 Pet. 1:7).
    • Our Ability to Trust God’s Faithfulness -Adversity is a school of faith where we learn to trust God and depend on Him completely to provide for our needs. As Paul tells us, “God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear” (1Cor. 10:13).
    • Our Calling and Preparation – Adversity teaches us how to endure difficulty, problems and stress. “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (Jas. 1:2-4).
    • Our Sin – Sometimes, we experience adversity because God is dealing with sin in either our individual lives or in our corporate lives. Although the Scriptures clearly teach us that trials are a part of every believer’s walk, we must be equally clear on this biblical principle: Sometimes the adversity that comes into our lives is the direct result of sin.  When we suffer because of sin, we need to listen to what God is telling us through our adversity—and we need to change the direction of our lives.
  • It is powerful — God wants transform our lives through adversity by confirming, strengthening and establishing us. He promises to help get us through anything. His Word says that we can do all things through Christ who gives us strength. (Phil 4:13)
  • It is temporary – As Christians, we need to live in the now, in light of the forever. When we have an eternal perspective we can have joy in the midst of adversity.

Now, you might be thinking, “This all sounds well and good, but what I’m going through is too difficult! I’ve reached my limit!” But before you give up, here’s the good news:

First, you were never meant to face adversity alone. We need God’s help. And God promises that when we cry out to Him, He is faithful to help us. The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18).

Second, God promises that when we choose to trust Him and to keep pressing on we will experience a great reward, both in this life and in eternity. In the book of Hebrews, the writer addresses a group of people who are experiencing a lot of pain and adversity. His encouraging message to them – and to us – is this: “So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.” (Heb. 10:35-36)

Part of our reward in going through adversity is that we will build endurance, strength and character. The other part is that as we learn to trust God’s character and His Word, in all things and for all things, we can develop an intimacy with Him like never before.

Through adversity, God wants to wean us from our pride and self-dependency, guide us into deeper intimacy with Jesus and redirect our paths to insure our greatest good and His greatest glory. And He does all this as we learn to trust Him.

We must get beyond the immature notion that God is only interested in making us healthy, wealthy and happy. God wants so much more for us than that. He wants us to be wise, mature, obedient, bold and committed. He wants us to be like Christ. And the road to becoming like Christ often leads through the wilderness of adversity.

Have you ever considered that most of the great developments in people’s lives and business innovation came out of adversity?


Tell Me Something, Just Where Are You At?

I get comments and emails from folks all over the world.  Some are from older adults that are just beginning new careers; some are seasoned executives; some are work-at-home moms; and of late a number of younger entrepreneurial minds looking at the internet as a method to earn a living and moreover, as a lifestyle.

Some of these young people have earned tremendous amounts of money and on the surface would seem successful, yet are apprehensive.  In other cases they are simply earning supplemental income and are anxious as to their next step or action.  Inside my conversations, it seems there is a common denominator within that younger group that troubles me; a basic foundation has gone astray or simple missing entirely.  They seem to be drifting, not sure where they are really at, not sure of their real value, and absent from community… that community which offers encouragement provides guidance and more significantly accountability.

The social networks do not replace the innate human need for genuine contact with real people.  If you don’t know your value as it relates to your real purpose in life; if you find financial success, but no peace; if you are often coming up short even though you try to do the right things; then, you just might be lost.

Sadly, there are many lost people in the world who do not really know where they are in life. There is no mentor, Christian life coach, leadership coach, parent, church group or anyone else to guide them. Of those who are aware of where they are in life, there are multitudes that are not at all happy with their present location in life. That often leads me to ask them several questions. Are you lost or do you know what your life’s address is? [Your Purpose and Desires…anything to do with ice cream?] And, if you do know your address, is it the address that you want?

If you are feeling lost, I would ask – do you know how valuable you are? You are extremely valuable and it does not matter what the world or anyone else says. It does not alter the “fact” that you are valuable. Lost or not, it is you who determines your personal address. Your present address might read  rjones@valueless.org, Alicia@hopelesslylost.biz, or  johnsmith@donotfindme.com.

You have to first realize again that you have value (God says you do) and that you “must” seek out and develop the gifts (from God) that make you special. Next, you have to want to be found. Unless you want to be found and rescued, chances are that you never will be. It is a choice that only you can make, so always make the right choice… be found and rescued!

Next you have to put forth the effort to be found and rescued. Wilderness survival guides tell us, that if we are lost, to “put up or lay out a signal” so that others may see it. This is the way rescuers will know that you are missing. Then and only then will they start looking, someone can now come to your rescue. The same is true if you are lost in life. You need to let people know, so that they can come to your rescue. So put in the effort and “put up or lay out” the necessary signals to attract the attention of responsible mentors or Christian life coaches. Get involved in church community groups, you are not meant to do life alone.  Check with your local church or there are several Christian life coaches who can help you if you are lost among life issues. I know some of you live in South Florida, may I suggest Excel Coaching and Consulting or fill out the contact form at www.excelcoachingandconsulting.com/contact.

A good Christian life coach can change your address from rjones@valueless.org to rjones@valuableone.org or from that of  Alicia@hopelesslylost.biz or johnsmith@donotfindme.com to that  Alicia@ontrack.biz or johnsmith@foundandonthemove.com.

Now to the questions of if you know your address and if this is the address you want to be at. Let’s take the first question. Do you know your address or does it presently read pj@idonothaveaclue.org?

In the past I have had to use navigational skills to navigate from point to point in diverse and usually unfamiliar terrain or water, and normally moving at a speed. I was able to find my way by using a compass and a map. However, before I started – I had to know where I was and then where I wanted to go. The same is true in life and the business world. In order for you to get anywhere, you must know where you are and where it is that you wish to go.

So where are you at? Being at jose@whereami.biz is not a good starting place. So first things first, take some time to sit down and evaluate where you are. Take into account your passion, your talents/skills, your education/training, and most significantly your foundational beliefs. It is important that you take the following to heart:

  • Your passion is what motivates you. What you are excited about doing and drives you to do more each time you act upon what you are passionate about.
  • Your talents and skills are your special gifts which can help you advance and act upon your passion.
  • Education and training will enhance both your passion and talents/skills.
  • Your basic beliefs, if honorable, will guide you correctly; or, if not righteous will lead you astray.

Once you have an understanding of these things, you will know where you’re at in your life. [Try to Avoid Detours]

Once you know where you are – jose@hereiam.biz – you are ready to tackle the last question – where is it you want to go? First determine what you want to do with your passion in terms of your career and/or your life. Set specific steps you want to take to get where you desire to be. Take these action steps one at a time. As you accomplish each step, it will motivate you to take the next step and the next until you have arrived at your goal.

You will need to determine the best way to apply your talents/skills to assist you in bringing about your goal. Part of your action steps should be how you are going to use your talents/skills to bring about your goal. [It’s not the plan that’s important, it’s the planning.]

You will also need to improve upon your talents/skills through training and/or education. A good mentor or accountability partner that has been along the road that you want to travel can be a big help. Likewise a Christian life coach or leadership coach is also extremely helpful. A good coach, with the skill to guide you, can take you where you are passionate about being. If your passion is positively and correctly fed, then you will increase the probability of finding the happiness and fullness in life that you desire. Your address might then read something like moses@theredsea.com, peter@therock.biz or paul@thegreatcommission.org.

By desiring to be found (by a mentor, life coach or leadership coach, or God), by determining where you are and by taking a well planned journey you will likely be quite happy where you will find yourself. You will have answered the questions – am I lost, where is my life’s address, and is this where I want to be? The only thing is to be diligent and consistent in keeping with your action steps and goals. [Direction then Timing] Diligence and consistency along your journey will lead to the right answers which will bring you success.  Man makes his plans, but the Lord directs his steps. And who knows, your personal address may yet read success@howdoyoulikemenow.com.


Jerry Duling is a Marketing and Business Consultant, Professional Speaker, and Social Media advisor. Jerry shows businesses how to use Social Media to build their brand, generate leads and close sales. Jerry also provides individual resources for the Internet Entrepreneur. Connect with



Do you often feel like God’s far away – take a look at this remarkable YouTube video.

Do you often feel like God’s far away – take a look at this remarkable YouTube video.

It was posted by 18-year-old Ben Breedlove. Ben Breedlove was an internet YouTube blogger who posted a variety of videos covering everything dating to relationships and advice.  He was also a young man who lived his entire life with a dangerous heart condition. Tragically, he died on Christmas Day after having a heart attack. Just days earlier he posted a video telling his life story… a video introducing himself and describing a near death experience he had as a result of the condition. At the end he tells the audience “Do you believe in Angels or God? I do.

I suspect that many of you have already seen bits and pieces of this on the news.  If not, you should check out Ben’s story on the links below.  He tells his story with simple note cards and the occasional smile, sitting close to the camera and stepping back just once to show the scar from when a pacemaker was implanted to help his troubled heart.

It is a remarkably hopeful video.

Ben created the OurAdvice4You channel on YouTube in November 2010 with his childhood friend Justin Miller and Megan Parken. His purpose was to give relationship advice to his viewers and interview family members and friends. In May of 2011, he launched his second channel, BreedloveTV, a companion channel to his first, where he would answer questions about dating, relationships and advice. According to family members, girls from all over the world would message him, asking him for advice. In his hometown of Austin, Texas, Ben became somewhat of a celebrity to many teenagers.

As of 7 January 2012, OurAdvice4You has a total of 38 videos, and more than 65,000 subscribers, and BreedloveTV has 17 videos and over 30,000 subscribers.

Ben created a third channel on December 18, 2011, entitled TotalRandomness512. This channel is the host of the two-part video, “This is my story“, which has since become viral. As of the middle of January 2012, both videos have a total of 10.5 million views.

On December 29, Breedlove’s funeral was held at the Gateway Church, in Austin, Texas. The memorial service was streamed live on the KXAN website, at his father’s request. More than 1,400 people attended the service, and another 11,000 watched online.

Most of the media outlets have edited out many of the religious elements, if you have not seen the full version, check it out here:

Part 1 and Part 2

There are numerous related videos, might I suggest his sister Ally’s comments at his funeral.  Ben’s sister.  Ally Breedlove said her brother told her, “God let me feel that peace before I came back so that I would know that heaven is worth it.”

At a very young age, Ben Breedlove planted a seed in people’s mind to begin thinking about things that really do matter in life.   From time to time it is a good idea to sit, reflect, and consider the hope we really do have.  Ben Breedlove was a normal kid who lived a normal life — if having a life-threatening heart condition can be considered normal — and left an extraordinary legacy for us on Christmas day.

Some people just seem to be really grounded and in control, ever wonder why?


Jerry Duling is a Marketing and Business Consultant, Professional Speaker, and Social Media advisor. Jerry shows businesses how to use Social Media to build their brand, generate leads and close sales. Jerry also provides individual resources for the Internet Entrepreneur. Connect with